Headshot Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 I thought since we have funny pictures, we should have some jokes in here. I don't want these forums to be all serious so jokes sounded good. Post your jokes in here. Remember, just like our servers, try not to have racism or anything else that is not allowed in our servers. Thanks and hope this turns out good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Headshot Posted October 30, 2008 Author Share Posted October 30, 2008 Blonde paint job A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch." A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustard Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Joke #1 'Of course I won't laugh, said the nurse. I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient.' 'Okay then, said Fred, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest 'man thingy' the nurse had ever seen. Length and width, It couldn't have been bigger than the a AAA battery. Unable to control herself, the nurse started giggling, then fell to the floor laughing. Ten minutes later she was able to struggle to her feet and regain her composure. 'I am so sorry,' she said. 'I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise it won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?' 'It's swollen,' Fred replied. She ran out of the room. ----------------------------------------------- Joke #2 A young man asks his father, "Dad, how many kinds of breasts are there?" The father, surprised, answers: "Well, son, there are three kinds of breasts. In her twenties, a woman's breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her thirties to forties, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. After fifty, they are like onions." "Onions?" "Yes, see them and they make you cry." ----------------------------------------------- Joke #3 A woman posts an ad in the news paper that looks like this... Looking for man with these qualifications: - won't beat me up - won't run away from - is great in bed. She got lots of phone calls replying to her ad but met someone perfect at her door one day. The man she met said, "Hi, I'm Bob. I have no arms so I won't beat you up and no legs so I won't run away." So the lady says, "What makes you think you are great in bed?" Bob replies, "I rang the door bell didn't I?" ----------------------------------------------- Joke #4 A big dirty farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says: "This is the pig I have to f*ck when you're not up for s*x." His wife says: "I think you'll find that's a sheep." He says: " I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patr!ck Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Blonde joke! Ok, theres a blond , a brunette and a hybrid stranded on an island. The brunette sees land in the distance, so she tries to swim to it. She only makes it 1/4 there and turns back. The hybrid goes 1/6 of the way, gets tired and turns back. The blonde goes, makes it halfway gets tired and turns back Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbes Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Mustard, was bumping a year old topic your joke? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mustard Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Mustard, was bumping a year old topic your joke? lol i was bored last night and went through all 50 some pages of forum topics Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rudabaga Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 lol i was bored last night and went through all 50 some pages of forum topics Instead of sitting on your ass. GO OUTSIDE! :tvn: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gracefail<3 Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 Do you like fish sticks? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patr!ck Posted September 6, 2009 Share Posted September 6, 2009 yes, why? no i am not kanye west Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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