unbanned Groo's Unban Request

[iAM Polar JB]

First off, I messed up. I messed up really bad. I didn't realize the magnitude of the things I did and the repercussions it caused. First off, me threatening to DDOS the server was disrespectful, uncalled for and a extremely stupid idea. When I said this, I didn't realize what it meant. DDOSing Hells Gamers would eliminate a place for 50+ people to play Jailbreak, TTT, Minigames and other Hells Gamer's servers. I just want to state that I don't know how to DDOS, nor do I have the capability to DDOS. Threatening DDOS is the first of many things that I'm deeply sorry for.

 

When I look back on all of the things that I did wrong one that I should of noticed is my actions as admin. When I was admin, I wrongfully accused people of cheating and insulted people. At the time, I didn't realize that my actions as admin can and did make an impact on the reputation of the server, and other admins. My actions, made new players scared of admins. Admins are there to help and protect and when I look back on my actions, I did neither most of the time. Again, I apologize for this as well as many things, but actions speak much louder than words and my actions were extremely negative.

 

Another thing I wan't to apologize for is the way I used people as my scape goat and how I overreacted to the smallest things. When I was accused of doing something wrong or bad, I would throw the blame on other people almost every time. I didn't look inward at what I was doing wrong and what I could do to change it. I complained about the smallest infractions and bitched and moaned when something didn't go my way and people didn't listen to me. But, I'm glad people didn't listen to me because I learned from it, not right away but I learned from it. When I messed up or did something wrong, and someone called me out on it i would either do what I said and push the blame onto other people, or say i'm sorry. When I said I was sorry, at the time I meant it but what I forgot is actions speak louder than words. I apologized countless times for the things that I did wrong but I never changed my way of doing things. When people said i was a bad admin and a toxic person, I didn't realize why. But when I look back I realize that everything I did could have been avoided, if i just would have changed what I was doing wrong and asked others how I could improve myself as an admin and a player.

 

I remember when I was in a certain situation where someone made the slightest infraction, and I inflated it into something that shouldn't have been acknowledged. Another time, when I falsely muted or T-Locked someone for something they didn't do. I suffered consequences, and conjured up an apology that I sent to the individual in a steam PM. When I apologized, I got no reply but i saw the message being copied and pasted around the server. At the time, I was looking for a way to mute this person and make something up about how they were spamming or something of the sort. For the time I have been banned, I looked back on this incident and realized that I treated this individual so poorly, not once but many times that he took my apology and scoffed at it. In that situation, If i were trying to be more of an asshole i'm quite sure i couldn't have been a bigger one.

 

Now, I'm going to apologize to the people I never thought I would have to apologize to. Other admins and the staff of HG. The incident that brings me to say this is down right disrespectful and extremely idiotic. What happened was I started to play a song, and a staff member told me to turn the song off. I refused to turn off the song because " I don't know what Im doing wrong " is something close or what i said back to the staff member. I was then muted by the staff member and I freaked out and made it a big deal. Staff have the best intentions for the server and the players, and even if no one knows the reasons why, they do. Once I was unmuted I bitched and complained about how a staff abused me for no reason why. I made this situation so much worse by playing the song again even after being told to not play it by staff and other admins. Another admin said i played it because i had personal beef with said staff I denied and said it wasn't true. I said i didn't because I wanted to be right. I shoved the blame on the staff and not myself. To the staff members, and all other admins I am extremely sorry for the way I acted and the way it made not just me look as an admin. But all the admins as a group, I made the admins a thing to fear and people not to trust, admins are people to trust and they are there to help you and i made admins look like they wanted to punish people. I have good things to say about each and everyone of the admins, staff and members of HG. Many people can't say the same thing about me and they shouldn't from how i treated them.

 

 

If i'm unbanned, I will gladly take any punishment that staff feel necessary. I completely understand if the decision is made for me to never be unbanned. Actions speak louder than words, and my words and actions left a very negative reputation about me. I will understand the decision that is made and I will not argue the decision. If I'm unbanned I will do everything I can to be a good member of HG. Changes will be made.

 

 

Sincerely,

Groo