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Well that's a bit odd.....

Two-Step
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Two-Step Advanced Member II

Two-Step

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Right, so I've been drinking a good deal of limeade recently. Off and on, like those girlfriends you have, the ones that have a few golden moments and bicker the rest of the time. What I mean is that is that limeade makes my teeth hurt. They feel pickled.

 

God, no, you don't have girlfriends.

 

Girlfriends are a bad idea. They are only attractive when they're sleeping. Then they wake up and start with the arguing. You know, it's always something. Like, you just don't do enough. You need to shine her shoes, even though she walks around barefoot half the time. And you say, Baby, you're barefoot, and she's all, Yeah, but not for long, you just think about that, mister.

 

And I know that there's some girl that you think about. One that got away, had your chances, etc., but don't worry about it. A real relationship would've ruined everything. See, you're thinking about her now, and every thought is a fond one. Those thoughts wouldn't be the same if you lived with her. She starts farting after a month into your game of house. Then she stops bathing, and she wants you to light up her snatch with you tongue, and it smells like fermented lemons. No such thing as a bad fantasy, but bad reality is everywhere.

 

What I'm trying to say is that limeade is not a good idea. After I drink it I feel like I have to brush my teeth. And once you brush your teeth, you can't drink anything for at least thirty minutes, especially orange juice. Orange juice and toothpaste are mortal enemies, like monkeys and bananas.

 

Thing about orange juice is that I can drink a whole bottle. It's not that I want to see in the dark. I leave those kinds of things up to my cat. When it's dark, I ask her what's in front of me, if I'm going to trip over something, but we speak a different language and I stub a toe.

 

Once I stubbed 2.

 

But I want you to think about living with her. Turns out she has baggage. Maybe she doesn't want to get naked in front of you. Maybe criticism makes her crazy. Or maybe she isn't okay with her breasts. Every time you fuck her she's still wearing a bra, and that kind of takes away from the magic. She takes it off when you do things in the dark, and you tell her, Clara, they feel fine.

 

And you don't know if Clara has thought of you lately. You wonder if she's stopped thinking about you, and when the last time was. Maybe she never thought about you at all, but that isn't the kind of thing that you want to think about.

 

And, yes, I guess I think about Clara occasionally. Her name isn't Clara, not to me, but that is irrelevant. There are thousands of Claras.

 

I wonder if we would mesh well. Maybe we share a lot in common. I don't know if we do, because I never got around to asking, but it's a possibility. Maybe we get to drinking some limeade together. Maybe after we finish a glass or over 9000 she says, Wow, this stuff makes my teeth feel strange. So I offer to brush her teeth, and she's all for it, and I go ahead and brush her teeth the right way. My dentist taught me the right way, but I wonder what other dentists would say.

 

But, yes, that's the way it would go, with my left hand on her jaw, moving her head from side to side, and my right hand ridding her teeth of all that acid. And, I don't know, maybe she'd say, Yeah, Jake, yeah, that feels good.

 

Not that my name is Jake, but there's thousands of Jakes.

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NOMNOM Elite Member

NOMNOM

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What are you talking about? Girlfriends are awesome. Mine cooks, cleans, rubs my feet, doesn't care that all I watch are sports, and LIKES watching me play video games (since she plays games as well.)

 

BTW, if my post is off topic, sorry. I didn't read most of the initial post.

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