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Prince of Persia Sucks!


Siphaed
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Spoiler alert: Anything you're about to read contained within this thread will most likely be a spoiler of the movie Prince of Persia. If you do not want the plots or the general movie spoiled for you, then please do not read any further. Thank you.

 

 

Anyways, that movie sucked. It's like taking and creating Aladdin into a live-action movie, but instead replacing the a few minor plot points and changing the lamp with a time-changing dagger.

 

1) Evil villain is the trusted 2nd hand of the King.

 

2) Main hero character was a street urchin adopted in some way into royalty.

 

3) Evil guy tries to put all blame and burden on good guy.

 

4) Street urchin marries princess and gets praised by all.

 

 

 

It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't cliche and corny. See, Destin was praised for leading an army into defeating a city (holy city, which is weird), but then shortly after is blamed for a set up of murdering the king (his adopted father). Goes through a desert running into a band of thieves (40 thieves seems appropriate and fitting considering the similarities). Gets chased by Hassassin's, gets the thieves to help him, drags the princess through the whole spheel and eventually defeats the bad guy at the very end while sneaking past many armies many times unnoticed (apparently a king's son isn't that famous to be noticed by the hundreds around him...?).

 

In the end, everyone died but the dagger miraculously made the sand go back into the sandglass and then it went back before any of the events happened, right before they stormed the castle where the dagger was and killed his uncle who was the one who set him up and murdered his father in the first place.

 

 

 

Plot points that didn't make since:

 

-Destin sneaking into the Persian capital city unnoticed without a mask or something of that nature.

 

-Destin escaping the city without being caught even though it was surrounded by an army and thousands visiting for the funeral.

 

-The fat guy having hundreds of walnuts in the desert where there are no walnut trees.

 

-The fact that nobody noticed the big castle of Hassassin training still had dozens of servants and people working at it....did the king neglect to check that after he closed them down?

 

-How the hell did the sand get back into the sandglass near the end?

 

-Why didn't they speak with the 'spy' in the beginning before the invasion?

 

-The constant bitching by the thieves about taxes and other shit (was Disney trying to make a political point here?).

 

-Where's the princess get more sand? If the only way to get sand was to pierce the sandglass with the dagger, and the dagger only contained so much sand....seriously that's a big head scratcher there.

 

 

 

Basically, it's a giant fucked up vid-game movie that's no good. Resident Evil was the only partially decent vid-game movie that released in the past decade, and even that was moderately okay.

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Granted, working in the theater industry for a few years may have ruined movies for me forever, but my takeaway during the screening was something like this:

 

"This is not a good movie. Most people will at least enjoy it from a purely stabby perspective. It lacks substance and a fully cohesive plot. At one point, I wanted the sanpocolypse to come just so the movie would end. It's 2 hours of Jake Gyllenhaal smiling, but this time, not in a gay way."

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Prince gets dagger containing sand.

Prince uses all of sand stopping himself being killed by princess.

 

Later (before prince has got more sand but after sand from necklace has been used)

 

Prince gives dagger to brother before killing himself.

Brother USES SAND to stop him from killing himself.

 

I don't get it, where does that sand come from?

 

He got a refill. Remember when he was staring at the princess' necklace, then took it later on? Her necklace had more sand in it

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