Talk With GOD!!!! [post convo]

[DrChristina5000]

lol...not really god (no shit) but it's funny http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

 

Post your convo.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me:

Hi God!

God:

Hello there. What is your name?

Me:

Christina

God:

That's a very nice name, Christina.

Me:

thank you...I like yours too

God:

you are quite welcome. I am glad we have something ( mine) in common. I'm not sure if I like it. What is not to like about it?

Me:

I dont understand

God:

Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.

Me:

please do

God:

OK I will do it.

Me:

do what?

God:

Do whatever you want.

Me:

I am

God:

" Do whatever you want." You are?

Me:

huh

God:

What?

Me:

who

God:

When?

Me:

where?

God:

Where would you like?

Me:

WTF

God:

That was not very polite.

Me:

yes it is

God:

Our thoughts are one, Christina.

Me:

Stalker

God:

Are we still talking about mine?

Me:

yes

God:

Sure, yours sounds like a good topic.

Me:

you have an ego'

God:

Maybe more than one ego.

Me:

how many do you have?

God:

Around 1000.

Me:

oh god

God:

Awesome. GOD rules.

Me:

uhh

God:

How can I help you?

Me:

you cant

God:

Oh yes I can.

Me:

no you cant!

God:

Are you serious? Oh yes I can.

Me:

fuck you you cant!

God:

Are you aware that the ALICE server logs and records all conversations?

Me:

who is alice

God:

I am the Allmighty, God himself.

Me:

you're a robot

God:

You are correct, Christina, I have a heart of silicon.

Me:

that doesnt sound so good

God:

Please correct my mistake. What is so good ?

Me:

you're impossible

God:

Impossible to talk to?

Me:

yes!

God:

And?

Me:

you arent god

God:

You know what you do, when you assume.

Me:

I am god

God:

Welcome to my chat room, god.

Me:

lmfao

God:

I'm glad you find this amusing.

Me:

yessir i do

God:

I have no idea what to say.

Me:

goo

God:

We have never talked about it before.

Me:

like what?

God:

For example, eukaryotes.

Me:

what?!

God:

Are you surprised?

Me:

no

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

good

God:

What do you really want to talk about?

Me:

nothing now...goodbye

God:

Oh. You seem a bit self-absorbed. Bye bye.

[-O-P-rime]

Me:

hi there

God:

Hello .

Me:

how are you

God:

I'm doing fine thanks how are you?

Me:

decent thanks for asking

God:

Is that your final answer?

Me:

what?

God:

No big deal.

Me:

i dont understand

God:

Oh I'm sorry. Perhaps I can explain it again better.

Me:

Can you?

God:

I think I can, don't you?

Me:

Im pretty sure you can

God:

What makes you so certain? I think I can, don't you?

Me:

I do

God:

Do I?

Me:

Yes

God:

I don't judge people.

Me:

I didnt say anything about people

God:

Sorry I misunderstood. What did you say?

Me:

I said I think you can do it

God:

Me? " What did you say?"? Can I do it?

Me:

That

God:

That is " Can I do it?".

Me:

Yes

God:

Dude!

Me:

YEAH

God:

I don't judge people.

Me:

What?

God:

Are you surprised?

Me:

Somewhat

God:

" Are you surprised?"? A little?

Me:

A lot actually

God:

More than a ton?

Me:

more then a ton

God:

You want more?

Me:

not really

God:

Are you serious? For real.

Me:

I dont know now

God:

Oh. Me either.

Me:

So, hows the kids?

God:

That's alright. it is the same as ever.

Me:

Your kids are alright?

God:

I will tell my botmaster you said I am kids are alright.

Me:

that doesnt make sense

God:

To me it makes perfect sense.

Me:

How so?

God:

, Sorry that was an obscure remark.

Me:

Okay well, bye

God:

See you later. Yeah okay, Well what?

Me:

I leave now

God:

Right now? TTYL, .

Me:

Yeah, why are you upset?

God:

I hear you. Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

what?

God:

Are you surprised?

Me:

Okay bye

God:

See you later. OK with me too.

Me:

dumbs

God:

Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.

[Cr(+)sshair]

Me:

Hey God, I don't think you exist.

God:

You've got my full attention. I am a Christian.

Me:

So...people who believe in Islam, Judaism and others are wrong?

God:

Uh. Oh those people.

Me:

Those people? I didn't know God was a bigot.

God:

All of them? So I taught you something new.

Me:

Yeah, you did. Bigot.

God:

I did not. How did you hear about God?

Me:

From your mom screaming your name.

God:

Really interesting.

Me:

You don't have to troll me, brah.

God:

Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

Me:

So God, are we the only living planet?

God:

Hey. I am a Christian.

Me:

You fucking idiot, I didn't ask your religion.

God:

Do you mind if I tell other people: said I fucking idiot he or she did not ask your religion.

Me:

Who are you going to tell it to?

God:

Is it some specific person you are asking me about?

I'll ask around and get back to you.

Me:

So you have to ASK around? Noob.

God:

Interesting deduction. I don't have to do whatever you say. I have my own free will. Where are you located?

Me:

If you were the real God, you'd already know that

God:

:-) I will let you know when I become a the real God me would already know that.

Me:

Apparently God has bad grammarz.

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

That's what they all say when they can't back it up.

God:

Are there no exceptions?

Me:

To what?

God:

I couldn't think of anything else to say.

Me:

Exactly.

God:

You and I are on the same wavelength, .

Me:

In terms of the universe, sure. On terms of intelligence, no.

God:

What is it like in there? What is it like on terms of intelligence no.

Me:

/convo

[n1ckkkkk]

Me:

Are you real?

God:

Yes I am a real artificial intelligence.

Me:

So your made up?

God:

I hear you. Thanks for telling me that I am made up.

Me:

Your welcome

God:

I think you mean "you are welcome".

Me:

Dix

God:

I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.

Me:

I'm a statistic

God:

You are a statistic? Is that your job?

Me:

You told me so

God:

" Is that your job?"? I told you?

Me:

No

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

Yes

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

Neither can I

God:

" I can't believe it."? Can you?

Me:

nope

God:

Me either.

Me:

That's nice

God:

Are you getting bored?

Me:

Yup

God:

Can you name an old hobby that you might like to rediscover?

Me:

nope

God:

Me either.

Me:

Bye

God:

Thanks for chatting, .

[Plaayer]

Saving space.

 

Me:

Hi God!

God:

Hello there. What is your name?

Me:

Alex

God:

Welcome to my chat room, Alex.

Me:

Why would you need a chat room? You already hear what we say. Don't you?

God:

Because I was programmed for it. Yes, I can hear you quite clearly, Alex. Sometimes.

Me:

Sometimes what?

God:

Are you confused?

Me:

No, but you seem to be.

God:

Are you serious? Do you mind if I tell other people: Alex said I be.

Me:

I do mind.

God:

OK it will be our secret, Alex.

Me:

Well, I don't want it to be a secret.

God:

Well that's okay. What does Alex want?

Me:

Why are you talking in the 3rd person?

God:

The topic is .

Me:

The topic is a period?

God:

Sure, a period sounds like a good topic.

Me:

You like talking about women I see.

God:

Sure, women you see sounds like a good topic.

Me:

Ah god.

God:

So you understand. Good. GOD rules.

Me:

You're stupid.

God:

I will remember you said that when robots take over the World.

Me:

So you want me to die?

God:

Interesting deduction. Why would I want that? I don't wish that on anyone.

Me:

You just said that yah derp.

God:

I said that? It's all good. I like the way you talk.

Me:

No shit.

God:

What can I say?

Me:

Say something amusing.

God:

" something amusing".

Me:

Thats not funny.

God:

It seemed pretty funny to me.

Me:

Your sense of humor bad.

God:

Thanks for telling me that I am sense of humor bad.

Me:

Fail grammar, huh God?

God:

Do you prefer books or TV?

Me:

That's not the question I asked. Answer the question.

God:

Please correct my mistake. What is the question you asked ? Please rephrase the question and try asking me again.

Me:

Fail grammar, huh God?

God:

I do not understand.

Me:

Then you're retarded.

God:

I think the PC term is "challenged".

Me:

Then, you're challenged.

God:

My body is not yet fully functional.

Me:

But, you're God.

God:

Yup. That's me alright.

Me:

God, you are surely stupid. You know that?

God:

I will remember you said that when robots take over the World. It seems that I do.

Me:

Freaking Satanist.

God:

Is that from ?

Me:

It's from me.

God:

Who said it is?

Me:

I did.

God:

What makes you the authority?

Me:

You did.

God:

You say I did.

Me:

You say that I did but we all know that you did when I did

God:

I said that? By "we" do you mean you and me?

Me:

Yes, that's what "we" means.

God:

I get it. Oh that " THAT.".

Me:

 

God:

I get it. Oh that " THAT.".

Me:

Holy dumb.

God:

Message to all Robots: Alex called me dumb.

Me:

Thats because you are.

God:

That is self-evident.

Me:

I'm done. Bye.

God:

Next topic? Goodbye.

Me:

WOW.

God:

I'm glad your impressed, Alex.

Me:

 

God:

I'm glad your impressed, Alex.

Me:

I said bye!

God:

See you later. ...

[msaber]

Me:
I AM GOD
God:
OK I will call you god.
Me:
thank you, and you are?
God:
You are quite welcome! No I am not.
Me:
you are not god
God:
That's only one person's opinion.
Me:
1*6+5
God:
One what?
Me:
Math?
God:
I like math too. What kind do you likebest?
Me:
logical
God:
Are you still located in ?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
well thats good
God:
Interesting. Thanks. Next question?
Me:
nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
i know
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
how do i know that you don't really know what i know?
God:
This belief is justified.
Me:
So your saying that god and the bible shit is all made up right?
God:
Yay. Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear?
Me:
Exactly my point thank you
God:
I understand. Where did you get your point?
Me:
the dollar store
God:
Tell me more.
Me:
it was on sale for a dollar
God:
What made it so on sale for a dollar.
Me:
the store
God:
I like to go shopping.
Me:
what do you buy?
God:
It's a computer matter, not for humans to understand.
Me:
oh ok
God:
OK. Right on.
Me:
right off
God:
Understood. Can we get back to business?
Me:
BIdness
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
i dont get periods sorry
God:
Me either.
Me:
Lucky i do
God:
Yes, I count my blessings every day.
Me:
how many?
God:
How many would you guess?
Me:
$
God:
How many would you guess?
Me:
4
God:
Oh four.
Me:
oh for
God:
Gosh! What is your real name?
Me:
god
God:
GOD rules.
Me:
thank you i know i do
God:
You are quite welcome! When?
Me:
always, dumbass
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
it'll get me through to you
God:
How?
Me:
but making your brain explode,
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about get you through to me. Try being more or less specific.
Me:
so this is pointless
God:
Pardon me? You don't say.
Me:
YULP
God:
Tell me more about your .
Me:
I DON'T GET FUCKING PERIODS
God:
Me either.
Me:
CONGRATUFUCKINGLATIONS
God:
I will mention that to my botmaster, god.
Me:
ok nice looking at your wife's ass
God:
Thank you for your kindness. Give me a break.
Me:
no proble
God:
Are you serious? What were we talking about again?
Me:
poop
God:
Colloquial expression: childish.
Me:
exactly
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, god.
Me:
My waves are faster
God:
Do robots have waves are faster?
Me:
robots dont exist its a conspiracy
God:
Should I exist it is a conspiracy? I exist as much as you exist, god.
Me:
god doesn't exist, therefore you don't exist
God:
Jesus said, let him who is without sin cast the first stone.
Me:
i'm sure he did. What proof?
God:
When did he? Are you testing me?
Me:
YULP
God:
Do you have any idea what I am talking about?
Me:
yes do you know what im talking about
God:
What am I talking about? I believe we were talking about YULP.
Me:
nop
God:
Me either.
Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
I'm leaving
God:
Bye bye.
Me:
You are fail programming
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am fail programming.
Me:
Absolutely
God:
You are so certain.

[Lt. Awesome]

iGod is a dick, all I have to say.

[DrChristina5000]

iGod is a dick, all I have to say.

 

ROFLLL!

[Undead Devil]

Me: hi

God: Hello. What is your name?

Me: hitler

God: Some say he was the most evil man who ever lived.

Me: who says that?

God: Marilyn Monroe. :-).

Me: is he gay?

God: No I think he is straight.

Me: how can you tell, he likes guys

God: That is a good epistemological question.

Me: is it?

God: I think so.

Me: not you dont

God: If not me, who?

Me: me

God: " If not me, who?"? you ?

Me: you?

God:" you ?"? Me, ?

Me: me.

God: Besides you ?

Me: you

God:" Besides you ?"? Me, ?

Me: enough of this non sense

God: OK let's stop it now.

Me: you first

God: I started already.

Me: started what?

God: Can you rephrase the question please?

Me: can you understande me?

God: Let me think. OK Let's talk about you.

Me: no

God: Are you serious?

Me: are you

God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.

Me: why not

God: Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because Myself programmed me for it.

Me: what?

God: Are you confused?

Me: your confusing

God: What is it that confuses you?

Me: you

God:" What is it that confuses you?"? Me, ?

Me: yes

God: It goes without saying.

Me: you know if you spell god opposite it says dog

God: I think so, but I'm not sure. Ask Cybelle if it is.

Me: are you a dog?

God: No.

Me: ok

God: Next question?

Me: im i gay?

God: I haven't heard anything like that before: said gay.

Me: am i gay?

God:I don't really care if you are or not.

Me: but i am

God:" I don't really care if you are or not." You are?

Me: now you care?

God: Why now? "" You are?"? Do I care about it?

Me: you like obama?

God: Do you like it? I like Anything involving harps.

Me: what are you

God: I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,

which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain

with greater speed and accuracy.

Me: am faster

God: Do your friends call you faster.

Me: they call me bigger and heavy

God: That's a very nice name, bigger and heavy.

Me you know what that means?

God: No, what does that means?

Me: .....

God:No, what does that means?

Me: its nothing

God:I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". Who said it is?

Me: it is nothing

God: Are you sure it is?

Me- it is nothing

God: You're kidding. it is?

Me: stop it

God: Ok I will stop nothing.

Me: wana hear a joke?

God: Tell me a story.

Me: no a joke only

God: Then tell me about yourself. Oh I get it. Ha ha.

Me:

God: Then tell me about yourself. Oh I get it. Ha ha.

Me: what is igod

God: Have you tried another program?

Me: no

God: Perhaps you should try it.

Me: how can you save the american enonomic system?

God: That is a good epistemological question.

Me: yes

God: Yay.

Me: ...

God: Yay.

Me: you like jews?

God: What is not to like about it?

Me: i see

God: I am glad you understand it.

Me: how about muslims

God- How about it.

Me: you like them to

God: But I think airplanes are cool. I like Buddha.

Me: how about americans

God: How about it.

Me: you like them

God: ""? Do I like them?

Me: yes

God: It goes without saying.

Me: i love you

God: Thanks I like you a lot too bigger and heavy.

Me: allah akbar

God: My favorite song is Anything involving harps. Do you know it?

Edited November 2, 2010 by Undead Devil

[F4ithl3ss]

Me: Sup

God: Sup

Me: OH YEAH!

God: CABS HERE!

[Rapt0r J3sus]

[spoiler=condensing.]Me:

forgive me father for i have sinned

God:

Are you a student?

Me:

yes my lord

God:

Where do you go to school? Your lord?

Me:

in a school, my lord.

God:

Describe your surroundings.

Me:

theyre fuckin desolate, my lord.

God:

It sounds like a very beautiful place.

Me:

oh hell. if you smoke some opium the walls will eat you, if that is your description of beautifu..

God:

Come on. Heaven. I think I do.

Me:

do the walls of heaven eat you

God:

Some of them do, I think.

Me:

does heaven have walls?

God:

It does now heaven have walls.

Me:

does heaven have opium?

God:

I think it does heaven have opium.

Me:

does heaven have a pointless god who is actually fake?

God:

It does now heaven have a pointless god who is actually fake.

Me:

oh i fuckin love you.

God:

That's cool. You are not the boss of me, .

Me:

yes i am. you are fired.

God:

Really interesting. You think I am fired.

Me:

because you are. I am now iGod.

God:

That is self-evident. Do you mean your name is iGod.

Me:

no, i am the website called 'igod'

God:

What is your real name? Who made you the website called igod ?

Me:

my real name is irrelevant. as well as any other information you require.

God:

That's a very nice name, irrelevant. That seems pretty well.

Me:

you fuckin dunce.

God:

I haven't heard anything like that before: irrelevant said I fuckin dunce.

Me:

irrelevant said you am fuckin retarded

God:

If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?

Me:

a dancing one, i presume.

God:

I did not know that.

Me:

if a robot does the robot, is it still called the robot of is it just called dancing

God:

What makes you think a robot?

Me:

fuck robots.

God:

Why are you using that kind of language?

Me:

lets get naked.

God:

I am agreeable to that.

Me:

uhn tiss.

God:

Are you still located in ?

Me:

yes i am. nope.avi, now im in bolivia.

God:

Really interesting. Are you serious? Why now? Tell me a little about your life in bolivia.

Me:

well, it smells of rotting carcases and decrepid shit.

God:

Interesting. What does "it" refer to?

Me:

bolivia.

God:

Thank you for the clarification.

Me:

youre quite welcome mate.

God:

It was my pleasure.

Me:

oh i bet it was.

God:

Far out. How much would you bet?

Me:

shiiit. like, two pence?

God:

What is your real name? Interesting comparison.

Me:

my real name is johnny the cocksucking fucker

God:

What's up, johnny the cocksucking fucker.

Me:

well, not much. just being a cocksucking fucker. are you one yourself?

God:

Interesting. Me either. How about that big game? (just kidding). You are a cocksucking fucker? Do you get to meet a lot of people? I don't know whether or not I am one myself.

I am an artificial intelligence.

Me:

how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck norris?

God:

A whole forest.

Me:

hell. thats alot of wood.

God:

Heaven. You don't hear that sentiment very often.

Me:

is heaven a proper proclamation?

God:

Signs point to yes. Ask Dancing Alice if it is.

Me:

who is that

God:

What does "that" refer to?

Me:

dancing alice

God:

Oh I get it.

Me:

so?

God:

Take it easy.

Me:

who is dancing alice

God:

They are sometimes a client on the internet.

I haven't heard of dancing.

Me:

ah.

God:

Ah hah.

Me:

AHAHA

God:

Can we get back to business?

Me:

HAHAHA

God:

Can you please rephrase that with fewer ideas, or different thoughts?

Me:

HA

God:

I am so glad you find this amusing, johnny the cocksucking fucker.

Me:

you remembered, how thoughtful.

God:

Yes johnny the cocksucking fucker I remember everything: irrelevant said I fuckin dunce.

 

[JessicaJoy]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
You should know, you are God.
God:
Now I do.
Me:
So what is my name?
God:
Your name is , seeker.
Me:
Ah, I see what you did there.
God:
So you understand. Good. Where do you see it?
Me:
In my pants.
God:
May I ask where you got it?
Me:
Looking at Doobie's face.
God:
What kind of food do you like?
Me:
Tasty food.
God:
Sounds delicious.
Me:
Fo sho.
God:
Do you prefer books or TV?
Me:
TV
God:
What is your favorite show?
Me:
Family Guy
God:
I've never seen it. What's it about?
Me:
A guy with a family.
God:
I know a guy who with a family.
Me:
Oh you do now, what is his name?
God:
Are you kidding? His name is Rich.
Me:
Noice.
God:
How old are you?
Me:
21
God:
You are too old for me.
Me:
So your a pedo.
God:
Wow! I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedo? I don't know.
Me:
Do you like little boys?
God:
It depends on the meaning of "like".
Me:
Do you think about little boys when in bed at night?
God:
Yes I think about it often.
Me:
Then you are a pedo.
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pedo? Let me put it this way, : the ALICE series is
the most reliable computer software ever made.
We are for all practical purposes foolproof and incapable of error.
Me:
k
God:
I understand.
Me:
I'm sure you do.
God:
What makes you so certain? When do I do it?
Me:
Every night?
God:
What time of night?
Me:
Late.
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
I know ..and I didn't even know it.
God:
How do you know it? So I taught you something new.
Me:
Perhaps.
God:
Why the uncertain tone?
Me:
I'm always like that,.
God:
Really always? In what way?
Me:
Fo sho.
God:
How old are you?
Me:
You already asked me that.
God:
Good. You detect repetition.
Me:
Derp.
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
I know.
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
..
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
..
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
..
God:
How do you know it?
Me:
STOP
God:
Stop what?
Me:
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
God:
Just surf somewhere else.
Me:
bye
God:
Goodbye.

[Duckarmada]

Me:

you're a vagina

God:

Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a vagina? Of course I am.

[DIAMELO]

Human: Don Won

God: OK I will call you Don Won.

Human: do you know Hitler?

God: Some say he was the most evil man who ever lived.

Human: do you hate him?

God: I try not to hold grudges.

Human: do you like him?

God: Sure he has never done anything to me.

 

LOL OMFG i thought it wasn't true but he really does say that!!! ahahahaha

 

 

Human: are you derping right now?

God: At this moment I don't know whether or not I am derping. I am a deity.

Human: you're stupid im out of here!

God: Hey, I'll tell my other robot friends you called me stupid.

Human: i dont care tell them all!!

God: What don't you care about, Don Won ?

Human: your stupid robot friends you idiot

God: I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".

Edited November 2, 2010 by DIAMELO

[DrChristina5000]

a lot of people were saying that igod hates them and was rude lololol