Spindrift Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 I've never talked about this before, but I really need the boards advice on what could be a crucial decision. I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs… Phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently although when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don’t know them." I always stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, as if she has gotten out of the car round the corner. Why? Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi? I once picked her cell phone up just to see what time it was and she went berserk and screamed that I should never touch her phone again and why was I checking up on her. Anyway, I have never approached the subject with my wife I think deep down I just didn’t want to know the truth, but last night she went out again and I decided to really check on her. I decided I was going to park my motorcycle next to the garage and then hide behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my bike , that I noticed that the valve covers on my engine seemed to be leaking a little oil. Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest The_Monkey Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 You should totally fix it yourself. Then you can get on your bike without a helmet, get on a road with a long straight away with a brick wall at the end, get that bad boy up to > 90 MPH, don't hit the breaks, and slam head first into the brick wall. You would be helping the whole world, especially your "wife". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spindrift Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 Thanks for that, Monkey. Best reply to this joke all day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F4ithl3ss Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 dude you got me so good you son of a bitch I was about to say don't do anything, and wait it out because if you accuse her and you're wrong, it fucks up your entire marriage, but then i lol'd Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tommo Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 (edited) You got me for sure. Lmao. Edited February 9, 2011 by Tommo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weeman Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkwing Duck Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 OK THIS IS WHAT YOU DO. First, take the bread and the bread knife and cut two slices of bread approximately 1/3 to 1/2 inches thick each. Set one of these aside. Set the other in front of you and remove the lid from the container with the peanut butter in it. Take the knife, place it in the container of peanut butter, and with the knife, remove approximately a tablespoon of peanut butter. the amount is not terribly relevant, as long as it does not fall off the knife. Take the knife with the peanut butter on it and spread it on the slice of bread you have in front of you. Repeat until the bread is reasonably covered on one side with peanut butter. At this point, you should wipe excess peanut butter on the inside rim of the peanut butter jar and set the knife on the counter. Replace the lid on the peanut butter jar and set it aside. Take the jar of jelly and repeat the process for peanut butter. As soon as you have finished this, take the slice of bread that you set aside earlier and place it on the slice with the peanut butter and jelly on it, so that the peanut butter and jelly is reasonably well contained within. Congratulations, you have just made a peanut butter sandwich. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Icallhacks Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 OK THIS IS WHAT YOU DO. First, take the bread and the bread knife and cut two slices of bread approximately 1/3 to 1/2 inches thick each. Set one of these aside. Set the other in front of you and remove the lid from the container with the peanut butter in it. Take the knife, place it in the container of peanut butter, and with the knife, remove approximately a tablespoon of peanut butter. the amount is not terribly relevant, as long as it does not fall off the knife. Take the knife with the peanut butter on it and spread it on the slice of bread you have in front of you. Repeat until the bread is reasonably covered on one side with peanut butter. At this point, you should wipe excess peanut butter on the inside rim of the peanut butter jar and set the knife on the counter. Replace the lid on the peanut butter jar and set it aside. Take the jar of jelly and repeat the process for peanut butter. As soon as you have finished this, take the slice of bread that you set aside earlier and place it on the slice with the peanut butter and jelly on it, so that the peanut butter and jelly is reasonably well contained within. Congratulations, you have just made a peanut butter sandwich. Unusual troller is unusual. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowpoke Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 /insert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkwing Duck Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 ^fail Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F4ithl3ss Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Congratulations, you have just made a peanut butter AND JELLY sandwich. Fixed, you're welcome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 I am disappoint. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
60Seconds Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 I was gonna say hire a private detective to follow her around but then I read the ending. You wasted 30 seconds of my valuable time asshole! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rapt0r J3sus Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 OK THIS IS WHAT YOU DO. [spoiler=long post i dont wanna stretch]First, take the bread and the bread knife and cut two slices of bread approximately 1/3 to 1/2 inches thick each. Set one of these aside. Set the other in front of you and remove the lid from the container with the peanut butter in it. Take the knife, place it in the container of peanut butter, and with the knife, remove approximately a tablespoon of peanut butter. the amount is not terribly relevant, as long as it does not fall off the knife. Take the knife with the peanut butter on it and spread it on the slice of bread you have in front of you. Repeat until the bread is reasonably covered on one side with peanut butter. At this point, you should wipe excess peanut butter on the inside rim of the peanut butter jar and set the knife on the counter. Replace the lid on the peanut butter jar and set it aside. Take the jar of jelly and repeat the process for peanut butter. As soon as you have finished this, take the slice of bread that you set aside earlier and place it on the slice with the peanut butter and jelly on it, so that the peanut butter and jelly is reasonably well contained within. Congratulations, you have just made a peanut butter sandwich. if you dont get an infraction ima rage. i got an infraction for reviving a thread after it almost died. two posts in and i put "this is now about barry white" and posted like three videos. also, out of the ordinary Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darkwing Duck Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Did you shed your skin for sin too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike is Fr3sh Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer? Who, your wife or the bike? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 lol i bought it Who, your wife or the bike? LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spindrift Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 Lol, some people get it; others don't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RetiredTacos Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Yeah i learned a long time ago to always read the end....ruins these things for me, damn! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wings Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 Take you bike and put your wife in the pipe, should keep oil from dripping Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F4ithl3ss Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 if you dont get an infraction ima rage.i got an infraction for reviving a thread after it almost died. two posts in and i put "this is now about barry white" and posted like three videos. also, out of the ordinary but... he's cool... Enjoy your infraction for this post Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Awwik Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Lol! I loved this post it should be stickied! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fox* Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 i read the replies before reading your thingy, got you thar! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linoleum Knive Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 Show this picture to your wife. Should set her straight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmo Posted February 10, 2011 Share Posted February 10, 2011 lolwut Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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