Wolfman Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 (edited) So yesterday, Saturday August 20,2011 I went to a good friend of mine's wedding. He put me in the line up so I had to get fitted for a tux and all that jazz. Being second in line I had to walk the 2nd bridesmaid down the isle to the front of the reception. So as the wedding starts they hand this little kid the rings pinned to a pillow as he is supposed to give the rings to the bride and groom. We all walk our designated bridesmaid to the front of the reception and fold our arms as we wait for the "Mayor" of murray city to marry my friend and his fiance. As some of you may know I'm from UTAH and this guy is the mayor for Murray City. Pic related. This guy decides to not show up on time and everyone is just standing up their silent and waiting. So they decide to postpone the wedding so they can wait for the "Mayor" to get there and marry each other. Everyone waits around and I go upstairs to take off my jacket and hang out with a few friends and people I knew at the wedding. Our dressing room was just a little away so I wanted to hang up my coat up and noticed the door was already open. Inside that door was a bathroom with a door that was closed. I needed to piss like seabiscuit so I went to turn the nob and I here this god awful moan that sounded like someone had just came their skeleton. I step back and here a loud "kerplunk" I'm like DUDE WAT IS THIS!? WTF? Step out close the door and throw my jacket on a chair. The mayor finally gets their and starts the actual marriage part of the whole deal. We get up there and all I can do is look at this dudes mustache. So the kid who is like 7 and I swear has a severe case of ADHD. Starts walking down the isle with the pillow. For some reason the plumbing was not up to date in this place they picked so all everyone can smell is this backed up plumbing mixed with shit and piss but is obviously ignoring it for the sake of the day. This kid stops midway down the isle and says loud as hell "IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT", as he looks back at his mom, everyone just stares and I start laughing along with a few of my friends in the wedding and one of the grooms cousins decides to stick his foot out as this kid continues to walk down trips him and falls down and tears up. At this point I was dying combined with the shit comment I had to use every fiber of my being to keep shit together. "no pun intended" He gets the rings and gives them to the bride and groom and they get married so after the fact everyone takes pictures including myself. We eat dinner and cake for dessert. Being in Utah we have a big underground scene over here surprisingly. My friend Gillbert. "DJ illberto" was DJing for the wedding and combined with the open bar I really couldn't contain myself. So after the ceremony my friend the "groom" tosses the garter as I catch it in my mouth. "I'm sure he purposely tossed it my way" The bridesmaid I had walked down the isle comes up to me as I'm wearing this garter on my head and says, "what else can you catch with that mouth?" I being half wasted and confident as fuck say. "Anything you want" or it probably sounded like "Anrything To Warnt!" we go upstairs into the overflow area by the kitchen and start making out. Not sure you want to here the (NSFW) Part but I'll just say this. I did ***NOT*** get a B__wj_b while my friend gillbert played his remix of Kreayshawn's Gucci Gucci [YOUTUBE]IwNWpiMAp4k[/YOUTUBE] None the less I woke up in my dressing room after a night of boozing off gin n juice with my pants off and my tie still on and not remembering relations with a girl I had just met the night before with a note that says, "Had a blast (insert name here), really would like to get together again sometime. Text Me. <3" took a piss and had some left over cheescake and returned my tux once I found it. Was the first wedding I have ever been to but hopefully not the last. -Wolfman tl:dr GTFO MAH THREAD Edited August 21, 2011 by Wolfman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F4ithl3ss Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 fake Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fox* Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 fake and gay Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rick Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 COPYPASTA Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfman Posted August 21, 2011 Author Share Posted August 21, 2011 fake and gay Thanks RWJ Nice cocks Jake... COPYPASTA Pic or your pasta is a lie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninja Cooki3 Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 (edited) Edited August 21, 2011 by Ninja Cooki3 Cool story bro <3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scott Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 haha i liked the story. also, the no pun intended Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfman Posted August 21, 2011 Author Share Posted August 21, 2011 Thanks, Brhost Hunter haha i liked the story. also, the no pun intended Thanks Scott! XD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.jiggles Posted August 21, 2011 Share Posted August 21, 2011 The story was so beautiful brought a tear to my eye. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken Wings Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 [video=youtube;7fAur3I2_mE] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ninja Cooki3 Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 [video=youtube;7fAur3I2_mE] Yo Chicken wings! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hatemosh-faggle Posted August 22, 2011 Share Posted August 22, 2011 tl;dr gunna get out now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
60Seconds Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 I was at a wedding a few weeks ago. The car that the bride and groom were driving off in was the same model and color that I have. So the people from the rental company put the just married sign on my car by accident. I think they realized that when the car wouldn't unlock and when I couldn't open the other car with my keys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watermelon Jackson Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 If it was real I would've shat bricks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Angel Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Hahaha I actually lol'd irl You should tell the story about the wedding you went to in Australia, that was funny as fuck when you told it in Jailbreak the other night Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slowpoke Posted August 23, 2011 Share Posted August 23, 2011 Read first paragraph, then went to fap to kreayshawn since you mentioned her. cheers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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