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Prescription grade Jailbreak


Watermelon Jackson
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Hello. We are Jackson Inc., and we are here today to convey to you our latest product, Jailbreak. Jailbreak (JB) is a gift from the big yellow guy upstairs (Homer) sent down to the little people to garter the lulz. What is this lulz you speak of Watermelon? It's an all out, non-stop, make you piss yourself laughing, orifice tearing rip to the face. You'll step into the Jailbreak server a small and timid young man or woman, and leave a fucking psychopath with voices in their head telling them to run under a levitating train with two meaty flapjacks, only for the sole purpose of getting to China. Yes, we're sick stupid fucks and we love it. Prescription strength Jailbreak comes in two dosages:

 


  • 25mg Prisoner grade (Spam required)
     
    &
     
  • 50mg Prison Guard grade (Uniform sold seperately)

 

 

Studies have shown that with proper mediation of your daily dose of JB, lulz output can increase dramatically by a factor of 1337:1, not of course including nutritional variables such as Doc Brown, Wolfman, Hobbes, , Navi, etc...these conflicting variables are like the amigo acids of JB, you need some of all of them, but too much of any one of the amigo acids can cause faintness, or more seriously, lulz-overload (LOLOLOL), a serious medical condition which should be treated by a Jailbreak Admin or a dolphin fisherman immediately. Symptoms of lulz-overload include, but are not limited to:

 

  • Death

  • Coma

  • Flatulence

  • Dehydration

  • Inebriation

  • Herpes

  • Hemorrhoids

  • Syphilis

  • Lazarus

  • Jaundice

  • Trouble Sleeping

  • Lockjaw

  • A sudden urge for drugs/alcohol

  • Midget Tea Parties

  • An everlasting erection

  • Blindness (this is due to the RAWR-A2H receptors in the brain, too much of this amiga acid causes death due to suffocation and mental anguish. May also slightly constitute part of the erection in some patients.)

  • An affinity for K-pop

  • Facepalms (Galore)

  • and A shovel.

 

Jaibreak may not be for everyone, including people with high blood pressure, bone marrow or kidney transplants, or HIV disease. Stop taking Jailbreak if you have or develop severe social disorders, mental disabilities, or are nursing, pregnant, or Adam West. Simple blood tests are needed to see if you're Adam West.

 

So consult with your JJK, and ask if prescription Jailbreak is right for you, and we here at Jackson Inc. want you to remember: "A round of JB a day, will make your dick think HARD and your brain grow BIGGER."

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