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What Ranks Are You ?

Michael Corleone

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Comic King Elite Member IV

Comic King

Posted
Posted

You know what? Let me tell you my fucking shitty ass story about my experiences with CS:GO competetive ranks.

It all started in December 2012, a bit less than a month from the initial release of this shit storm of a game. I was 14 at the time. I only bought the game so I could play on jailbreak. About a month later, Joey7, SeeMore, Crossbow (Pandaeble had that name at the time) and Brycelang introduced me to CS:GO competetive. I was dazed at how serious all those people were. Everyone was yelling and shitting in my mouth with excuses and angry comments because I had bought an AK on the second round after a bomb plant. And no, I sucked at using the fucking AK. The match went poopy. Joey had lost his connection and timed out at least 7 times before getting a cooldown. Crossbow and SeeMore were trying to be serious but ended up being second to last and last. This was all far worse than today's silver games since then everyone was bad, no one was a smurf. We lost the game and I soon forgot about it. After about 30 games, I finally got the luxury to display my rank. Oh how great I felt, the nerves were getting pinched by my high expectations. I was hoping I would be getting a Gold Nova 2. No. It was a fucking Silver IV. I was sad. I couldn't control myself. I called mom at work to cry to her. There was no way out, I thought.

The Summer holidays soon came, and I was ready to kick some ass. I've watched those pros on ESL, I surely have more skill now, I told myself. Indeed, my theory had been proven to be wrong, I got wrecked again and shit went normal again for the next month.

Soon, I had discovered the one and only, P90. Oh God, what a strong weapon it is, I said to myself. I was in bliss. It all started to resemble the old days of the UMP45 in MW2. Using the stopping power, commando and marathon, I was the strongest pussy out there, reigning down on noobs and causing nukes. The P90 had impaled almost the same effect.

The days of other people calling me a noob and telling me to kill myself turned into days when others called me a hacker and a bhop scripter. The P90 noob was born. In just a month I proceeded to get to Nova 1. No one could stop me. I was becoming the KennyS of the P90 and de_dust2. Oh how pro I am, I encouraged myself outloud.

Soon after, school started and I had to take a break from CS:GO.

It was the Winter of 2013/2014. I was downranked to Silver Elite. For the next two years, I would be fighting and trying hard to reach a higher rank than Nova 1. The first initial successful rank-up was in Summer of 2015. During those 2 and a half months, I would go straight from Nova 1 to Master Guardian Elite. It was a dream come true. I am a pro! - I yelled at my computer monitor. Indeed I was. I was wrecking DMGs and using my P90 as always. But my glory came to an expected end. It had to end someday.

School started again. VALVe decided to bring in an update which would put all MGEs to Gold Nova IV. I was unlucky. My glorious rank dropped down to Gold Nova 1. All my years of effort went down the drain. I felt like a horse jumped on me and humped me, I felt like a rhino had just stuck its tusk sharp thingy in my ass. I was heartbroken. I decided it was time to stop with serious competetive play.

 

As of April 6th 2016, my shitty rank has dropped to Silver Elite.

 

prey for me pls

 

 

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ClearCut Elite Member III

ClearCut

Posted
Posted

You know what? Let me tell you my fucking shitty ass story about my experiences with CS:GO competetive ranks.

It all started in December 2012, a bit less than a month from the initial release of this shit storm of a game. I was 14 at the time. I only bought the game so I could play on jailbreak. About a month later, Joey7, SeeMore, Crossbow (Pandaeble had that name at the time) and Brycelang introduced me to CS:GO competetive. I was dazed at how serious all those people were. Everyone was yelling and shitting in my mouth with excuses and angry comments because I had bought an AK on the second round after a bomb plant. And no, I sucked at using the fucking AK. The match went poopy. Joey had lost his connection and timed out at least 7 times before getting a cooldown. Crossbow and SeeMore were trying to be serious but ended up being second to last and last. This was all far worse than today's silver games since then everyone was bad, no one was a smurf. We lost the game and I soon forgot about it. After about 30 games, I finally got the luxury to display my rank. Oh how great I felt, the nerves were getting pinched by my high expectations. I was hoping I would be getting a Gold Nova 2. No. It was a fucking Silver IV. I was sad. I couldn't control myself. I called mom at work to cry to her. There was no way out, I thought.

The Summer holidays soon came, and I was ready to kick some ass. I've watched those pros on ESL, I surely have more skill now, I told myself. Indeed, my theory had been proven to be wrong, I got wrecked again and shit went normal again for the next month.

Soon, I had discovered the one and only, P90. Oh God, what a strong weapon it is, I said to myself. I was in bliss. It all started to resemble the old days of the UMP45 in MW2. Using the stopping power, commando and marathon, I was the strongest pussy out there, reigning down on noobs and causing nukes. The P90 had impaled almost the same effect.

The days of other people calling me a noob and telling me to kill myself turned into days when others called me a hacker and a bhop scripter. The P90 noob was born. In just a month I proceeded to get to Nova 1. No one could stop me. I was becoming the KennyS of the P90 and de_dust2. Oh how pro I am, I encouraged myself outloud.

Soon after, school started and I had to take a break from CS:GO.

It was the Winter of 2013/2014. I was downranked to Silver Elite. For the next two years, I would be fighting and trying hard to reach a higher rank than Nova 1. The first initial successful rank-up was in Summer of 2015. During those 2 and a half months, I would go straight from Nova 1 to Master Guardian Elite. It was a dream come true. I am a pro! - I yelled at my computer monitor. Indeed I was. I was wrecking DMGs and using my P90 as always. But my glory came to an expected end. It had to end someday.

School started again. VALVe decided to bring in an update which would put all MGEs to Gold Nova IV. I was unlucky. My glorious rank dropped down to Gold Nova 1. All my years of effort went down the drain. I felt like a horse jumped on me and humped me, I felt like a rhino had just stuck its tusk sharp thingy in my ass. I was heartbroken. I decided it was time to stop with serious competetive play.

 

As of April 6th 2016, my shitty rank has dropped to Silver Elite.

 

prey for me pls

 

tl;dr silver scrub :>

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