Need Your Help.

[ToXiC.]

ok, so I have been going out with this girl for about 2 weeks now. I think I love her but i really don't know. she has a lot of problems like bi polar disorder, she has to take anti depressants and is addicted to cutting. she has a lot of mood swings. she makes me sneak over to her house and sleep there like every night because she "needs someone" but this results in me not getting enough sleep and sleeping during class. but I love everything about her. her smile, her weirdness, she loves music, shes a nerd like me :3, her beautiful red hair, shes really pretty. so my question to you is how do you know if it's worth it??

[Mark]

Don't go one day, then choose depending on how you feel

[RageQuit]

If a relationship forces you to alter who you are or what you do (to something that's to your detriment), it probably isn't what's in your best interests.

Edited November 13, 2012 by RageQuit

[ToXiC.]

I didn't sneak over yesterday because my dad was awake, and it kinda felt good to get sleep for once. but i mean when i'm with her, i'm really happy.

[Suicide]

You won't know unless you try.

 

Keep dating her and see how it goes. If not, end it.

 

HG can't really help you here mang.

[ToXiC.]

You won't know unless you try.

 

Keep dating her and see how it goes. If not, end it.

 

HG can't really help you here mang.

 

yea i guess you're right; thanks man

[-O-P-rime]

lick her palm, if she wipes it on her pants then you've blown it.

[ttaM]

Get her help, don't let her use you.

[Suicide]

yea i guess you're right; thanks man

 

1-800-suicidedatingadvice

[ToXiC.]

1-800-suicidedatingadvice

 

Real.

[jajolt]

My sister has bipolar disorder. She's stable after some meds and hospitals...

she's been in relationships though, her first boyfriend was a douche and made her depressed, the second one made her really happy and she was much better in the house, be nice to her and it could help her.

 

 

As for the cutting, make suggestions, like using marker not actually cutting. (sister did that too)

 

I can't give you actual dating tips because I'm 13 but basically it sounds like you care

[ToXiC.]

 

 

As for the cutting, make suggestions, like using marker not actually cutting. (sister did that too)

 

 

 

shes addicted to the thrill of the pain, so this wouldn't work. but i told her if she really needs to, to just use tape and tie it kinda tight around her wrists.

[jajolt]

shes addicted to the thrill of the pain, so this wouldn't work. but i told her if she really needs to, to just use tape and tie it kinda tight around her wrists.

 

That's what everyone who cuts themselves is addicted to.

 

Tape might work, but it could cut off circulation to the hands and wrists. Don't let it go to trichotillomania, either. Sister had that. Had to get a wig to hide it.

[LazaHorse]

how do you know if it's worth it??

 

Simple. For any girl-related "issue" you ask yourself this series of questions:

(1) How old are you?

(2) At that age, are you ready to wife someone or are there other more pressing matters at the moment?

(3a) If you answered "Not ready" in number 2, stop here. It is not worth it.

(3b) If you answered "Yes I am ready, and nothing else is as important," are you able to both continue being with her and living your own life?

(4a) If you answered "No I cannot" to 3b, is she more valuable than the things you must give up (opportunity cost)?

(4b) If you answered "Yes I can," would you give up things in your life to do so anyway?

(5a) If you answered...

 

If you don't get the satire yet, this is nowhere near as simple as I at first said... unless you approach it COMPLETELY methodically. I can do that for you because I'm not involved, but I wouldn't suggest doing so for yourself. In the end, take note of what you are giving up for her and decide if she is worth more than that to you (as an objective third party, I would have to say no simply because you are not at the age where relationships tend to be "serious"). Decision becomes easy then.

 

The gambler easily bets when he has little left to lose. But even if he holds the world, he would gladly push all-in when he has the 'nuts'. The 'nuts' are the hand that (given what is seen on the board) is guaranteed to be the BEST POSSIBLE HAND available.

 

Is she the 'nuts' for you?

 

Again pessimist in me would say no, but then again my parents met when they were in elementary school, dated through high school and college, and got married shortly afterward. Young love stories do happen........ just not often.

 

Good luck.

 

Real.

 

Also gtfo my real.

 

Real.

[ToXiC.]

Simple. For any girl-related "issue" you ask yourself this series of questions:

(1) How old are you?

(2) At that age, are you ready to wife someone or are there other more pressing matters at the moment?

(3a) If you answered "Not ready" in number 2, stop here. It is not worth it.

(3b) If you answered "Yes I am ready, and nothing else is as important," are you able to both continue being with her and living your own life?

(4a) If you answered "No I cannot" to 3b, is she more valuable than the things you must give up (opportunity cost)?

(4b) If you answered "Yes I can," would you give up things in your life to do so anyway?

(5a) If you answered...

 

If you don't get the satire yet, this is nowhere near as simple as I at first said... unless you approach it COMPLETELY methodically. I can do that for you because I'm not involved, but I wouldn't suggest doing so for yourself. In the end, take note of what you are giving up for her and decide if she is worth more than that to you (as an objective third party, I would have to say no simply because you are not at the age where relationships tend to be "serious"). Decision becomes easy then.

 

The gambler easily bets when he has little left to lose. But even if he holds the world, he would gladly push all-in when he has the 'nuts'. The 'nuts' are the hand that (given what is seen on the board) is guaranteed to be the BEST POSSIBLE HAND available.

 

Is she the 'nuts' for you?

 

Again pessimist in me would say no, but then again my parents met when they were in elementary school, dated through high school and college, and got married shortly afterward. Young love stories do happen........ just not often.

 

Good luck.

 

Real.

 

Also gtfo my real.

 

Real.

 

so what you are saying is if I Don't want to marry her I shouldn't date her??

[Link]

Before my best and only friend moved </3 she was bipolar and cut alot too. I kinda had to do what you do, not sneak out at night, but whenever something would go wrong, I would devote every second of my time to cheering her up. I had to convince her that I actually did care about her, and that the majority of the stuff that she was upset about wasen't worth it. She ended up stopping the cutting, and she kinda stabilitized her mood swings. Pretty much what Im trying to say, is show her you care. Tell her, but say you have a life too. You cant spend every waking minute for her, Take some time out of what you spend with her, but multiply the intensity of the time you do spend with her.

[ToXiC.]

Before my best and only friend moved </3 she was bipolar and cut alot too. I kinda had to do what you do, not sneak out at night, but whenever something would go wrong, I would devote every second of my time to cheering her up. I had to convince her that I actually did care about her, and that the majority of the stuff that she was upset about wasen't worth it. She ended up stopping the cutting, and she kinda stabilitized her mood swings. Pretty much what Im trying to say, is show her you care. Tell her, but say you have a life too. You cant spend every waking minute for her, Take some time out of what you spend with her, but multiply the intensity of the time you do spend with her.

 

best advice ive gotten thanks man

[LazaHorse]

so what you are saying is if I Don't want to marry her I shouldn't date her??

 

I said that was my perspective on love and marriage (Sinatra is the man). But I am saying universally (what I would advise you to do), relationships are built on commitments. You have to be serious with yourself and decide whether or not you can commit to the hand you are dealt, or if you think you can do much better by cutting your losses and folding (continuing my shitty poker analogy). You can't ask others if she's "worth it." Worth is by definition a matter of perspective (gold is worth a lot because people will pay for it, not because of its atomic structure). Look at what you have, what you will have, and what (most importantly) you would NOT HAVE because of her. Then decide to yourself... is this girl worth it.

 

IMO, it's a fairly clear no. Have you ever seen someone ask the pawn shop if their autographed Beatle's album is worth money? No, they understand it is worth something and simply go to finalize a price. If you have to ask what the worth is for something, chances are it isn't very high in the first place.

 

Real.

[ToXiC.]

I said that was my perspective on love and marriage (Sinatra is the man). But I am saying universally (what I would advise you to do), relationships are built on commitments. You have to be serious with yourself and decide whether or not you can commit to the hand you are dealt, or if you think you can do much better by cutting your losses and folding (continuing my shitty poker analogy). You can't ask others if she's "worth it." Worth is by definition a matter of perspective (gold is worth a lot because people will pay for it, not because of its atomic structure). Look at what you have, what you will have, and what (most importantly) you would NOT HAVE because of her. Then decide to yourself... is this girl worth it.

 

IMO, it's a fairly clear no. Have you ever seen someone ask the pawn shop if their autographed Beatle's album is worth money? No, they understand it is worth something and simply go to finalize a price. If you have to ask what the worth is for something, chances are it isn't very high in the first place.

 

Real.

 

but there is also the fear that if i dump her she may do something... like take her own life... that fear is also impacting my decision

[Elephant]

if you're in high school my suggestion is to whip it out and see what she says

it's all you really need to go after in high school anyways

[Jella]

but there is also the fear that if i dump her she may do something... like take her own life... that fear is also impacting my decision

Man, do not go down that road. Please please please don't let your decisions be based on whether you think she'll kill herself or not. Let me save you the time and heartache and tell you that you don't have a relationship if things come down to that. And if she understands that she can manipulate you that way... just no. Fuck no.

 

It's not fair for her to "make" you do things like sneak out so she can sleep at night. It's impacting your life and it's unhealthy for the both of you. You can be with her and not have to do things like that just to make whatever relationship you have work. I mean, two weeks and you have already been roped into doing that? She seems needy and I get it. I really do. Dealing with something like bipolar disorder isn't easy, but your relationship should not depend on what you can do to keep her stable. You have to take care of yourself first and encourage her to do the same.

[Weeman]

you don't know love, you don't know shit. Love isn't something you find in two weeks. Love is waking up next to a woman you've been with for a very long time rolling over looking her in the eyes and then farting and you both laugh.

[LazaHorse]

Man, do not go down that road. Please please please don't let your decisions be based on whether you think she'll kill herself or not. Let me save you the time and heartache and tell you that you don't have a relationship if things come down to that. And if she understands that she can manipulate you that way... just no. Fuck no.

 

It's not fair for her to "make" you do things like sneak out so she can sleep at night. It's impacting your life and it's unhealthy for the both of you. You can be with her and not have to do things like that just to make whatever relationship you have work. I mean, two weeks and you have already been roped into doing that? She seems needy and I get it. I really do. Dealing with something like bipolar disorder isn't easy, but your relationship should not depend on what you can do to keep her stable. You have to take care of yourself first and encourage her to do the same.

 

A woman is telling you to stop listening to the girl. Get with it son.

 

you don't know love, you don't know shit. Love isn't something you find in two weeks. Love is waking up next to a woman you've been with for a very long time rolling over looking her in the eyes and then farting and you both laugh.

 

And then dying when she says, "Good morning, hun," with her nasty stank morning breath.

 

Real.

[kimzy]

Man, do not go down that road. Please please please don't let your decisions be based on whether you think she'll kill herself or not. Let me save you the time and heartache and tell you that you don't have a relationship if things come down to that. And if she understands that she can manipulate you that way... just no. Fuck no.

 

It's not fair for her to "make" you do things like sneak out so she can sleep at night. It's impacting your life and it's unhealthy for the both of you. You can be with her and not have to do things like that just to make whatever relationship you have work. I mean, two weeks and you have already been roped into doing that? She seems needy and I get it. I really do. Dealing with something like bipolar disorder isn't easy, but your relationship should not depend on what you can do to keep her stable. You have to take care of yourself first and encourage her to do the same.

 

amen to this.

Jella has said everything that needed to be said. someone /thread!

[Oreo]

i had a girlfriend like this once, felt the same way you did but all the depression and constant problems get to you real fast, and youll start finding yourself no longer wanting to be with her, id say just wait it out,took me about three months