Dear Hellsgamers Community:
Hi, everyone! My name is Autism/Jericho and I was instructed by my wonderful Director Fortis to write you all a 5 paragraph essay about how much I enjoy my time here as part-time staff. I can explain how happy I am to be in this position in how much I enjoy supporting shits like Fortis, moderating servers, and simply being apart of a great community.
Firstly, the best part of being part-time is how I get bitched around by upper management on the daily. As we speak I am being forced to write this paragraph with the threatening of obnoxious sounds clips to be played if I don't comply. My ears are bleeding from the noise of Thomas slurping cocks and I don't know if I can make it much longer. Being part-time staff is very taxing because of the torment inflicted by Fortis and his cronies every day to the little people. Help me.
Secondly, the people on servers are amazing. I just want to quote one of my favorite phrases I've seen while part-time moderating the servers; "actually fuck this gay ass server 'all ts all ts' fucking queers the twelve year olds are cancerous with their bitch ass controlling tarps and shit, and every JB server is better than this pile of shit. FUck the admins too literally cancerous. I hope they get aids from fucking their gay ass boyfriends.FUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCK YOU! Justic " as we can see by this quote the people on HG servers are very friendly and overall just great people! It always makes my day when I can come onto the servers like Jailbreak and almost want to die. You are all cancerous as fuck and being part-time staff of people like you make me feel like less of a person.
My last reason I enjoy being part-time staff is how far I’ve come in this community. See I used to be a little autistic shit that didn’t know the first thing about admining. I can support this claim by my first days playing on HG servers. I was so fucking bad at playing CT on jailbreak that people started calling me autistic on the server. I was known as “the autistic shit”. It took a long time, but after playing countless hours on servers that lagged harder than dicks I finally figured out how to play jailbreak. Then the cancer that was TTT came out. Me and my friends (Seraph and Bolbi) grinded the shit out of TTT and me and Seraph were gifted Moderator for the server. The rest is history, but I’m still that same “autistic shit”.
By looking at these three reasons you can see that not only am I part-time staff, but I’m fucking proud of it too. Sure I was forced to write this, but they stopped the cock slurping noise now and I can actually think. If you read through this whole thing I’m really sorry. Hopefully after I submit this on the forums they will give me CSGO tags back and I can stop being apart of this TF2 cancer.
Dominic “Autism” Dixon
CSGO Part-Time Staff
Noahlau. "HG Bans." HeLLsGamers. HeLLsGamers, n.d. Web. 08 Apr. 2017