Based on what @F00L said, now I'm starting to agree with him. I guess I was just frustrated with losing too early into objective maps that this just came out as some irritated urge.
Let me revise how this integration should go:
On objective maps, players can join and be placed on the human team before and during Intermission as usual. Following Intermission, for the first 10 - 15 minutes, any new player that joins our server on the first entrance (they load into the map or join the server on the first try), they are automatically placed on the human team.
At any point should they crash or leave and return on the second try, they will become a zombie. If they join 10 - 15 minutes after the Intermission, they will become a zombie.